Have you ever questioned your calling in life? I have … more than once.
And today I’m sharing about one of those hard days from my past when I was ready to throw in the towel. Ready to turn in my resignation letter to God and say I’m quitting full-time ministry. {You can read all about it by visiting Proverbs 31 Ministries and reading my devotion there}
Wrestling thoughts like these ran through my mind over and over again:
It’s just too hard, Lord. I’m simply not cut out for this. You can pick someone else much more qualified and gifted to take my place.
With tears streaming and emotions high, I spilled out all the reasons why I was frustrated and weary. After all, there was no sense trying to hide my thoughts from God when He always knows what I’m thinking.
Maybe you’ve been there too. Even though your circumstances and assignments may not be like mine, I’m sure your calling has moments, days, even seasons when it becomes challenging. What do you do when life gets hard and you’re ready to trade in your calling for someone else’s? Or when you start to question God’s plans for your life?
For many years – when those feelings of this-is-too-much would creep into my heart – I tried all sorts of things to soothe the pain and bring comfort to my unraveling discouragement. Things that ran my credit card balance up, expanded my waistline and created a lot of unwarranted tension for those closest to me.
But I’ve learned that only ONE thing truly works and that is taking all my concerns to the Lord.
Just being in God’s presence begins to change us, friend, and we don’t have to pretend or put on a happy face for Him when our hearts are hurting.
Telling the Lord our concerns and then reading God’s Word {as He speaks} allows us to receive the comfort and encouragement we long for.
Our circumstances may not necessarily change right away, but we will be changed in the midst of our circumstances, just by spending time with God.
Sometimes I’ll put on praise music and just sing to the Lord. Other times I’ll sit quietly and imagine Him sitting right next to me. As I do these things, the weight of this world begins to fade and His love for me become more clear. And, once again, I’m reminded that God is forever faithful and will complete the work He’s begun in my life.
God will confirm my calling and lead me in the right direction as I continue to trust and seek Him. And He will certainly do the same for you!
I love these verses about God’s presence and nearness to us:
“The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.” Psalm 145:18
“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
“But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.” Psalm 73:28
“You, LORD, make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11
Maybe you’re in a great place right now and you’re calling is a wonderfully fun adventure with God. You are thriving at what you’re doing and can’t imagine God calling you to do anything else. If that’s true, I’d love for you to share about it in the comment section below.
But if you’re not sure about your calling and you’re really struggling like I was in the past, I want to encourage you to take some time to spend with the Lord. Don’t wait for spare time to just show up on your calendar … spend time with the Lord today. Be willing to set other things aside for a while – even if it’s for 30 minutes – to rest in God’s presence.
Lay out your questions and concerns you’ve been wrestling with before the Lord.
Tell Him about your worries, doubts, and fears.
Ask God to confirm whether or not you’re truly walking in the calling He has for you.
Ask Him to lead you to a specific promise in Scripture that brings hope and assurance to your specific situation.
He will do it, friend! God is so faithful and He loves you so much! And, remember, in His presence there is fullness of joy.
*********************************
Do you struggle with anxiety? Do you tend to worry a lot or get stressed out easily? If so, be sure to check out my Anxiety Free Life Challenge. You can receive it for FREE by clicking here.
{If this is your first time visiting my site, welcome! If you’d like to stay connected, feel free to sign up for future updates by filling in the “Subscribe For Updates” gray box in the sidebar. }
Renee Beck says
Thank u for your honesty and all your wisdom !!
Kim says
Hello Leah,
I am a newcomer to your website, and relate to so much of what you express and the wonderful quotes and personal experiences. We are never alone when we share. GODS Bless!
Kim Starliper says
I felt while reading your blog as if it was meant for me to read at this time. Everyday I feel fear and what is going to become of my life like this and how I am going to have what I need to live. I have experienced alot that God has got me through but I still get weak and get them times I get weak and worry and stressed. I am disabled and had to be put on alot of different pain medication and I can’t stand the foggyness buzzed feeling and as I am trying to pray than guilt comes over me because of the feeling at that moment of the poison in my body and my mind while I’m praying. I am trying so hard and I always feel like I’m letting God down because I have to take this medicine. I have chronic pain through most of my body. I take what I’m prescribed, I don’t abuse it and I don’t drink but I feel guilty.
Leah says
Kim, I used to wrestle with guilt a lot too, until I came across Romans 8:1 that says, “For now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” God will gently convict us of sin and always show us the way to repentance through His Word. But guilt and condemnation are tricks from Satan who is an accuser. If you sense those feelings while you’re praying, it just might be Satan’s way of trying to keep you from continuing your conversation with Jesus. Press in and press forward, friend. God is listening.
Kim Starliper says
Hi Leah. Thank you for writing me back. You are the first person that I have felt like opening up about this. I have known God all my life but really learned to know him and want to try hard to live my life the way that would make him happy for past year. I am 46 and life hasn’t been the happiest but 5years ago I went to have what doctor said was very simple procedure but came out of recovery paralized on left side and woke up also in excruciating pain. Thankfully after a year I was able to start getting around with a cane but the pain never improved but seemed like more and more just gets worse. Through most of my body is chronic, the pain is constant. The fist year I became disabled my dog that was like a child to me passed away and period of time after that my husband found someone new. It felt like four years in a row bad life changing things were happening to me to where I felt like I was being punished and didn’t know what I had done so bad to keep being punished. When I became disabled I pretty much felt like I was on my own. I don’t even now still with out emotional support, no friend to talk to, no one to even just to go some where with to just get a little break. I have four dogs(which never wanted four dogs in my condition) but them and God has been reasons for me not just completely ending it. My dogs are my children and could never think of a life without them. Most of my life I have been in a depression but through the last five years it just was everyday exsausting worryment of how am I going to financially and mentally ever going to get to a life of peace and deal with my physical problems. The pain everyday alone invades my life. I am on alot of medication that makes me feel sick. I believe that I haven’t been cared for correctly from doctors from day one of me becoming paralized. I believe this was alot of other options tried on me before putting me on all this medicine. When I feel all this and not having human support and on my own all the time this all just made me feel why am I not important enough that doctors don’t want to help me. Why do I feel like a burden to everyone. Being disabled I felt like I’m going to never have a relationship again. I do better being married and want to feel like I have a family but still I worry that isn’t going to happen. The past year as I had wrote I have experienced myself that God is with me. It took a while to get there and I am still learning and I don’t want to let him down. The medicine feels like a poison and how it makes me feel is low and I’m letting God down. I don’t abuse it and I don’t drink but it bothers me that it has to be this way for my body to be able to function. I’m am trying so hard. It is still a struggle everyday, thier is so many financial issues that I don’t know how to get passed and the fear but I truly know that God has been the reason I have made it this far. I have seriously felt him get me through some rough times. I don’t want to let him down. The past year I know he has changed me to be a better person but I know I have a ways to go. I want to meet the right people and even if I could meet someone good for me to have a best friend and to talk to and have support.
Leah says
Kim, my heart aches as I read your comments and realize all the huge struggles you’ve been through. Life is so hard on this earth and I for one am glad that it isn’t our permanent home. One day we will live a life where there is no more sorrow or pain, no more brokenness or sickness, no more tears or fear. Until then, know that you are not letting God down … He loves you just as much today as He did the day He created you.
Kim Starliper says
I am so happy that going through all of this has made me closer to God. I truly feel that he is with me and how things can get so rough but he seems to get me through it. This past week esspeciolly I have had so much peace and feel a joy and I would love for this to last. Thank you for chatting with me. It really helps and lifts me to have someone to be able to talk about this with.
Victoria Read says
Back when I was a young “whipper snapper” I performed. I sang and I acted. I loved singing and acting. I loved the expression of it all, I loved pouring my heart out in a song or a role. I thought I was good at it. Others told me that I was good at it. And, I loved the attention, I mean I really loved the attention. Perhaps that is what lead me in my more mature years to think that I should have a real position of importance/promenance in God’s Kingdom. I thought that I had something to share and that I belonged in the spotlight. I wanted people to like me, I wanted people to come to me, perhaps I wanted to be a great teacher/speaker like our wise, and humble, hosts on Proverbs 31 Ministry.
About 15 years ago, I took my first spiritual gifts test. It was a sort of questionnaire that you filled out and it told you what spiritual gifts you possessed. While I don’t remember the complete assessment, I remember the gift of organization was at the very top. Mercy and prophesy were at the very bottom. Teaching was not high on the list either. You want organization? I’m your gal, I can organize the stuffing out of almost anything! Not only do I organize, I re-organize, wait a while, and then re-organize again. I’m always reorganizing things in our living space. I also love efficiency, so I tend to look at ways that I can make organization work for me in a more efficient manner.
But, as I said, teaching was not high on my list of spiritual gifts. So, book writing and standing delivering inspired messages like Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, Lysa Terkeurst, and the rest of the fabulous ladies at Proverbs 31 and First Five, is out of the question. There goes that spotlight!
And then the question that always enters into my mind is this: Just exactly what do you want to be in the spotlight for? Is it to capture the hearts and minds of believers and leading others to a faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Is it planting seeds for future salvation? Or, is it so that I can get acclaim? And, that’s a question that I have asked myself over and over again. The other side of this issue are the other questions that plague my mind, such as: am I smart enough? Do I have enough knowledge and wisdom to to discern what is God’s message and not my message. And that prospect really perplexes me. I’m nothing special, I am who I am, I am not any great scholar, I don’t possess great wisdom. Do I really have anything worthwhile to share? I’m not Lysa, Beth, or Priscilla. Who would listen to me? So when it comes down to it, I really don’t think I could do it. However, as I get older, I feel a need for a community of women where I can talk about faith, buoy up others in their faith, and plant seeds.
So what does that look like? I am not sure. I write in my journal, I share my observations, and weaknesses here on First 5, and within my group. I talk about my faith on Facebook, and I try to show my faith by my example with others who are out on the road like myself. I feel a need, a real need and strong desire to point others to God, but I am still unsure if that’s really what God wants me to do. I feel ill equipped for doing something like that, after all, who am I?
But, did you notice something in my musings above? It’s a lot of “I” messages. I want this, I want that, I’m not smart, I’m not special, I’m talented, etc. I, I, I. The truth of the matter is “I” get in the way. And I really don’t want to be in the way.
Deep down I want God to shine, I want the glory to point to God alone. And, whatever God wants me to do, well then that’s what I want to do. He will equip me with what I need, when I need it. I need to remain with Him and wait. If He wills it, He will accomplish it, not me! I don’t have to worry about whether I am good enough or smart enough, if God is in control. I just have to get myself out of the way and let Him shine. He tells us in Zechariah 4:6 “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts” (ESV). So what ever that may be for my life, may God accomplish it, and may I get all of my “I’s” out of His way.
Tammy Ashley says
My story begins in the mid 90’s when I was driving around with my husband one night. I was feeling very down and discouraged and was asking the Lord what my purpose was in life. I was feeling very useless. As we were driving along I heard Him speak to me and say
“You are a field of flowers that is in a beautiful meadow with a lake and mountains in the back round with shade trees and it is an isolated place in the sense that not many people find it because it isn’t for everyone, but that those that do come in and spend time and get refreshed and renewed and come away feeling relaxed and peaceful. He said that even though it wasn’t visited by many people, it was one of His favorite places to come to and enjoy.
Fast forward to now. Almost 3 years ago we moved up to Alaska which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. I have actually seen places like what the Lord described to me. I have been struggling with things since we moved up here. I am very homesick. I have been working at the Wasilla Walmart for almost 2 years now and have not been very happy there. I work as a people greeter. Anyway one day I was really struggling with things and I was at a gas station waiting for a bus to take me to work. They were working on the parking lot that day and I walked up to a pile of gravel and saw one lonely little dandelion sticking out of that pile of gravel and realized that the Lord was showing me that it represented me. I started bawling like a baby because that dandelion didn’t have a chance and was just blooming away with all its might and was happy to do so. I got the message loud and clear. The next day the pile of gravel and dandelion were both gone. 7 months later I was struggling again and the Lord spoke directly to me and told me I was fulfilling my purpose and calling by being a people greeter at Walmart. I knew exactly what he meant and starting bawling like a baby again. I am not for everyone there, and there are people that completely ignore me when I smile at them and tell them to have a good day, but there are others who have told me that I am a ray of sunshine and that I have a wonderful smile. Those are the ones who have wandered into my field. God has blessed me with this beautiful smile and I am convinced that it is a gift from Him. Sorry this took so long to get out.
Victoria Read says
Great testimony Tammy! Thanks for sharing it with us. God Bless You
Violet says
I know God has call me in spite of health issues. I’m so happy to read your blog, it’s a reminder very needed help. I want to continue to follow you. You are truly a blessing thank you.
Carolyn R says
Thank you, Leah. I truly loved your devotional. I need that reminder quite often that “In His presence there is fullness of joy”. Let us remain there, sisters.
Bonnie says
Thank you for your encouragement. God has laid a new calling on my heart and it has recently begun. It is so difficult to dispel the doubts and fears that my inadequacies will cause God’s plan to fail. I know that the truth is God’s plan will succeed despite my failings if only I’m willing to trust Him. Thank you for letting me know ow I am not alone in questioning.
Jody Hammons says
I had just started back into children’s ministry teaching music since I had stepped out for a while I felt God called me back. Well a short while into it I got verbally attacked by the pastor’s wife and a parent. Well, here we go I thought, did I misread you Lord? Instead of reaching out to friends I reached out to the Lord. He showed me scripture and conformation that I was in the right place. Well as the week unfolded I learned so much. God handled those people and as the week went by. I learned a very valuable lesson. Give it to God and don’t doubt his calling for you he will equip you and handle all things.
Victoria Read says
Amen! Thanks for sharing that Jody! God Bless you.
Cheryl says
Thanks for the encouraging reminder that God is the One who soothes my troubled mind when discouragement creeps in & I wonder if what I am doing is really what God’s calling me to do or I’m just wantoit to. be so. He does direct my path and I can be sure His plans for me are good & He confirms that through His word
Thanks Leah for your words of encouragement today
Eileen Koborie says
Your blog post was so timely for me – just yesterday God reminded me of David and how long it took him from the time he was anointed until he was actually King. I wrote a blog sharing my recent struggles, which I am sharing here: http://theworthywalk.com/blog/post/finding-joy-in-the-midst-of-difficult-circumstances.
Post coment says
Some times the load gets to heavy it is at that time that i cry out to the lord ,Lord! This load is to heavy for me!but the lord always finds a way to let me know that his grace is safisant for me.i can truly say that when i am hungry he feeds me,when i thirst he gives me drink when i am weary he gives me rest and i thank him everyday for all he does for me.So i tell you the truth cast all your cares apon him for he truly cares for you.