When Perfect Doesn’t Fit Anymore {Giveaway}

When Perfect Doesn’t Fit Anymore {Giveaway}

Update: This week’s winner is Kira Dykema! Thanks to everyone for participating in the drawing. I love reading all of your comments! 

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I found myself doing it again. I thought I had learned my lesson, but when the pressure was on, I caved just like before.

There I was trying to manipulate my circumstances and make an imperfect situation … well, …. perfect.

You know better, Leah. Perfect doesn’t exist. Stop trying to “fix everything” and allow God to reveal His perfection in this imperfect situation. 

I know this truth and I’ve spoken this truth to my soul. Many times. But on more occassions than not, and without even realizing it, I can easily fall into the well of perfectionism and gosh, it drives me c-r-a-z-y!

This time, I thought about calling my friend, Amy Carroll, who knows all about perfection. Not because she’s perfect. No, Amy would be quick to tell you that’s not the case at all.

Amy is my go-to friend when it comes to perfectionism, because she’s written a book called, Breaking Up with Perfect.

In fact, I’ve asked Amy to share her thoughts about perfection with us today and she’s graciously agreed. Amy has also offered to give away one copy of her new book, Breaking Up with Perfect, which I’m super excited about.  I’ll give you more details about the giveaway in a few minutes, but for now, let’s hear from Amy Carroll …

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How my heart ached as I walked through my much loved, empty house.

Now, instead of being filled with the laughter of little boys, the whispers of love between my husband and me, and the barking of my rambunctious dog, the rooms echoed only my footsteps.

The moving trucks had already left, taking the bits and pieces of my life with them, but I remained alone. And I grieved.

I loved that house, not just for its antique beauty, but for the hopes and dreams that had thrived there. This was the house I thought I’d watch my boys leave when they headed to college. This was the house where I thought I’d play with my grandchildren. I planned to grow gray there, so I poured my heart and soul into making it a home.

That house held my dreams of the perfect life.

But God had different plans. My husband, Barry, got a new job in a different city, and I found myself moving away from a home, from friends, and from a church family. Suddenly, my perfect plan for a perfect life seemed marred.

Things looked very imperfect to me.

For a moment, a seed of resentment tried to sprout in my heart. Barry seemed to be getting his perfect life—a better job with lots of excitement attached—while I was giving up my vision of perfection.

“What about me?!” my heart cried.

Gently God whispered this familiar passage from His Word into my heart,

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and

not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

(Jeremiah 29:11)

My rebellious heart rested in this comfort. God would never change my life’s plans without the best for me in mind. He didn’t forget me when He gave my husband a new opportunity. He was still in control, and His plans for me are truly perfect.

Are you wrestling today?

Maybe you’re wondering if God has forgotten you in your circumstances because they sure aren’t perfect.

Maybe your perfect life has been shattered by loss or rejection or pain.

Maybe you’re hopeless or unsure if God sees you.

I understand.

I’d like to take your hand and assure you. God sees you. He knows your dreams for the perfect life. But He has a plan that is greater than anything we can dream up or pursue ourselves.

Only when we end our pursuit of perfection can God begin His perfecting work in us.

I walked out of my beloved home that day without knowing what was ahead but filled with the peace of knowing that God was with me. He shapes the life that is perfect for me and perfects me in the process.

And He will do the same for you! 

end-pursuit

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Amy, thank you for reminding us that God’s plans for our lives are much greater than the “perfect” plans we conjure up for ourselves.

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Wanna know more about Amy’s new book and how to purchase a copy? Just click here –> Breaking Up with Perfect

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In Breaking Up with Perfect Amy will help you:

* Experience authenticity as the antidote for isolation
* Trade the Lies of Perfection for the Truths of God’s Love
* End the pursuit of perfection, so God can begin His powerful perfecting work in you

 

 

 

 

 

Amy.Image
Amy Carroll’s passion is leading women to deeper delight through the matchless pleasure of rich relationship with God and others. Amy is a member of the Proverbs 31 Ministries’ speaker team, the author of Breaking Up with Perfect, and the director of Next Step Speaker Services. She lives in NC with her 3 favorite guys and a little, red dachshund. You can find her on any given day typing at her computer, reading a book or trying to figure out one more alternative to cooking dinner. Visit Amy at her blog to join her in a journey toward more joy.

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Giveaway ~ Giveaway ~ Giveaway

To enter the drawing and possibly win a copy of Amy’s new book, just leave a comment below {or click HERE if you’re reading this post via email} and answer one of these two questions:

  1. What areas of your life do you wrestle with perfectionism?
  2. How does the world’s view of perfectionism shape your thoughts and decisions?
Leah

Comments

  1. Am inspired by Amy’s brief presentation of God’s perfect plans for our lives.
    I struggle with perfectionism in almost every area of my life. Spiritually, reading my bible and praying in my eyes must be done in a certain manner if am not able to do that, I feel less spiritual or am drawing farther away from God. Educationally, I feel I must keep going higher and higher even if my current circumstances don’t permit me. I have a bachelors degree and I wanted to do a master’s program but having a baby didn’t permit me but I feel so horrible when I think my plans are not falling in plans. I could go on and on.
    In this age were the media sends messages of how perfect things are when they really aren’t it worsens the situation because now I have an image of perfection in my mind for almost everything I do if I am doing doesn’t measure up to d image in my anxiety iincreases. I really believe perfection is my enemy. It makes me not to appreciate what I have but rather I rather worry about what could have been.

  2. Being a bit further along in life than some of the others who commented seem to be, I tend to struggle with the past regrets for parenting mistakes & mess-ups from when my sons were younger. They’ve both turned out to be great young men, but I think of all the things for which I’d like to have do-overs. I also lost my husband at a relatively young age, so my dreams of sharing “perfect golden” years together is gone. I see other couples together and feel short-changed. Being a widow is not the life I dreamed of having. It’s a challenge, but God has held my hand through every trying minute of it. Thank you for the chance to win a copy of your book.

  3. I don’t find myself feeling the need to be perfect. I probably suffer more with striving to be “good” enough.

  4. What areas of your life do you wrestle with perfectionism?
    Being a woman in every normal sense – Wife and mother most basically, a home maker and good cook which I am far from and feel like a failure to my family due to it, my inability to make quick and wise decisions which in turn cause turmoil for me both mentally and practically.

    How does the world’s view of perfectionism shape your thoughts and decisions?
    The idea that most people have to be absolutely thorough and knowledgeable to make it big and make it in. I’m not the competitive type so that doesn’t work for me. I go by what I believe God has for me and the pace He wants me to go.
    You have to be smart and fast, adaptable and willing to adjust to anything plus accept it even if its wrong. I believe in honesty, integrity and doing the right thing no matter what the world says. Following God’s principles and working hard matter more than gaining favour for compromising and cheating your way to the top.

    “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

    • Actually, right now now I am at my wits end at not being able to be the mom I need to be to my daughter, partly due to some insecurities and incapabilites some people think I have and partly due to the fact that she is kept from me because of these and anyway I’m treated as though I don’t exist as her mother. It is a very complicated situation. I feel like I’m losing her and it wrecks me mentally everyday.

      • Judy, I know this is something you’ve struggled with for a while and as a mom, I can imagine how hard this must be for you – not being able to be with your daughter. I’ll continue to pray that you will be reunited with her soon.

  5. I struggle with perfectionism in homemaking. I constantly feel overwhelmed and that I can’t do anything well enough, so it discourages me from even trying. I’d love to read Amy’s book and learn more about breaking up with perfection!

  6. Dawnielle Alden :

    I struggle with perfectionism in many areas, especially when working on the house or projects.

    Too often I listen to the lies of the world, that something isn’t worth doing if you don’t do it perfectly.

    I have to remember that I will never do everything perfectly and it’s ok. I have to start someplace.

  7. Over and over again, even though I tell myself not to, I try to be the “perfect” mom. I see all over social media what all my friends are doing with their kids, the lavish birthday parties they plan and the trips they take. My husband and I have chosen for me to stay home with our children (which I love) but that means we don’t have the extra money to do these things with our two girls. In my heart, I know that trips and clothes and fancy birthday parties don’t matter, and that we have wonderful girls who are having a great childhood, but I can help but compare myself. It’s exhausting.

  8. I struggle with trying to keep a perfect house and a perfect family. I need to remind myself who I am in Christ and not worry about the perfection part. I have to stop comparing myself with the world’s view of perfection which only depresses me and brings me down.

  9. What DON’T I struggle with perfectionism in might be the easier question to answer! It erupts from me in the form of not wanting anyone to be disappointed in my efforts or let down in their expectations of me. So it shapes my thoughts and decisions by making me want to do more and more, which increases the expectations. It is a vicious cycle. I need to focus on doing my best and being confident that my best is enough. And if my best is not enough, well, then that just might not be God’s assignment for me!

  10. Trying to be the perfect mom to my children is a struggle for me. I have four children with four totally different personalities. They each need me in different ways and some days I feel stretched way too thin and am hard on myself. Since I was saved two years ago my path in life seems much easier to walk – even when going through super rough times! God seems to put the perfect bible verse, blog post, song etc in my path just when I need it most!

  11. Here I sit thinking that I have none of these things in order , my house is a wreck most of the time , my marriage struggles on a daily basis , my husband is so hard hearted most days that his words will cut you like a knife , and all I know to do is pray because my words go into closed ears when I try to get them to do better because I don’t think this is the way that God wants my husband to be , finding fault in everything or looking for the worst in everyone

    • Rachelle, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a really difficult time right now. I’m praying this promise in God’s Word over your situation today:

      “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

  12. What areas of your life do you wrestle with perfectionism?
    My health, marriage and home
    How does the world’s view of perfectionism shape your thoughts and decisions?
    The world values strong, but God says my grace is perfected in weakness.
    The world values romance, but God says we are one until death parts us.
    The world says new modern and spotless, God says people are more important than things.

  13. I struggle with the idea that I have to look perfect in order to fit in with society’s view of what I should look like…I will never get there so I just need to except that fact!

    I struggle with the idea that my writing has to be perfect and my thoughts are shaped and swayed by all the awesome blogs that I read which often leads me to think that my writing is not good enough. I have to believe He has given me my own voice and my own writing style and that it is perfectly me!

    • Sarah, you are b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l and overflowing with the love of Christ. That is what makes you so radiant – inside and out!
      Comparison certainly can get the best of us. Trust God with your writing and listen to His voice instead of the enemy who would love nothing more than to cripple your writing. Celebrate the unique writing style God has given you and write as an offering unto the Lord and no one else. That is where your best words will come from!

  14. I struggle constantly with my desire to be perfect, especially in the area involving chores and the tidiness of my house. I desire for everything to be orderly, “everything has a place” I often say. My son cannot build a “giant castle” out of Legos and leave them in the Living Room to showcase for a few days because “their place” is in his room… hidden 🙁 This desire for a perfect, tidy home gets in the way A LOT. I often am reminded that it is stealing our joy and someday, I will miss the Legos in the Living Room. I have to be quick to take those thoughts captive and enjoy the imperfection in my home because that’s where God perfects my beautiful family!!

    • Stephanie, I used to be the same way when my guys were little and played with legos. How I wish I would have taken a picture of their towers instead of insisting they take them down. Looking back I realize I was making a big deal out of nothing and yet, at the time it felt like a really big deal.

      My oldest who was a lego ninja is now getting a double degree in engineering. So from one momma to another let me say with a loving heart … don’t sweat the small stuff. You may be raising an engineer and you don’t even know it. 🙂

  15. I’m 34 years old and I feel my life is in shambles. I feel like the world tells me that I should have things figured out by now—have that perfect family with perfect marriage, perfect husband, perfect kids or have that dream career or both. Well I have none of that and I dream of it all and I’m sorry to admit I covet it from many. Sometimes I think I would settle for a little imperfect as long as I could make the “surface” look perfect. Because that’s what the world says, it doesn’t matter if it’s really perfect as long as it looks perfect. But God doesn’t want to just make something look good on the outside. He wants to heal those things deep down. And maybe, as hard as it is to admit and go through, that’s what He’s doing for me right now. He’s fixing and healing and transforming me from the inside out. So the outside picture might look like a mess and the inside picture might not look too hot either right now, but God’s glory while He works will shine brightly. And that is perfection.

    • Hope, one thing is for sure … we will always get the wrong message if we go looking to the world for answers. That’s why we need to line up everything next to the plumb line of God’s Word. The world’s idea of a perfect life is airbrushed on the cover of magazines, but God’s idea of perfection is us is this:

      “For by that one offering he [Jesus] forever made perfect those who are being made holy.” Hebrews 10:14

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