When I See You In Heaven

When I See You In Heaven

” … He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. And He who sits on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’” Revelation 21:4-5a (NASB)

I could feel the slow rhythm of his heartbeat as I laid my head against his chest. Tears quietly rolled down my face as I held back the sobs that were begging to burst forth from underneath my heart.

Closing my eyes, I remembered being 5 years old again with my daddy holding me on his broad, strong shoulders the day he took me to the zoo. So long ago. Such sweet memories. And, yet, my heart was breaking.

Lord, not yet. Please. I’m not ready to say goodbye. I still have so much to say. I want it to be meaningful. I want Dad to know how much I love him. Not yet, Lord, not yet.

As I curled up closer, like that 5-year-old little girl so long ago, I could hear his shallow breathing. Gently I cradled his hand into mine.

Thank you, Lord, that Dad’s not in pain. When it’s time, please take him peacefully. But, not yet, Lord, not yet.

The clock ticks. The moments pass. The memories linger.

And it is time …

Today, I’m sharing this tender story about my father on the Proverbs 31 Ministries website. Click HERE to read the devotion in its entirety.

If you’ve found your way to my site and it’s your first visit ~ welcome! I don’t think you’re here by mistake. Honestly, I think it is a divine appointment.

Maybe you’ve recently lost a loved one and your grief runs deep.

Maybe it has been months, or even years, and you still struggle to make it through the week without them.

As I mentioned in my P31 devotion, I lost both of my parents within fifteen short months.  It was painful on so many levels.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about them. Even now, I can close my eyes and imagine my mother’s beautiful face or picture my father holding her hand, as he so often would do.

Who are you are missing today?

If you close your eyes, can you still imagine their smile or almost hear the tone of their voice?

Many of us are left with memories to cherish and a longing to be with  that special someone we’ve said good-bye to for now.

Where is the hope we can hang on to? What is the promise we can claim?

2015.Revelation

Friend, I’ve created this special post on my blog with you in mind. A wanted to provide a place where we can honor your loved one today.

Feel free to share what you miss most about them. What has been the hardest part of saying good-bye and letting go?

What are you looking forward to on that day when the Lord makes all things new? When He wipes away every tear from your eyes. When He reunites those you love?

No more death. No crying. No sorrow. No pain.

No longer will there be a separation. No longer will death sting.

I’ve written a prayer for you. I hope the words are comforting and draw you closer to the heart of God.

The tender things you’ve hidden in your heart are safe with Him. No matter what you whisper. No matter how many times you ask Him “Why?” He will not turn His back on you. His thoughts towards you are always birthed from a place of agape love.

HeavenPrayer

{Note: Click HERE to print prayer}

Friend, I am praying for you today. Will you let the Lord heal your wounds, soothe your sorrow and comfort you like no one else can? He is waiting. All you have to do is call out His name.

Do you have a friend, co-worker, neighbor or family member who has lost a loved one and might be encouraged by this post? If so, choose a button below and share this with them.

Sweet Blessings,

Leah

Comments

  1. adamedamaris@yahoo.com :

    Leah: I have a broken heart after my five year old son told me that his friend from school had died over the weekend last week, i was so broken hearted to hear this, and by just imagining the parents pain. I asked God so many questions that have no explanation stil, but as i went to sleep that night with a broken heart i woke up to these words of yours and it was a confirmation from God telling me where Isaias had gone. I just came back from the funeral but before i wrote a letter to the parents and mentioning the words from this devotional and the good news. I hope they call me back! Please pray for them. Thank you for your heart!

    • Thank you for sharing my devotion with this grieving family. I pray that God continues to comfort and hold them close during this difficult time of loss.

  2. Thank you for your beautiful post and prayer…wow, my heart has been so heavy this week, missing my precious mother. She will be gone 2 yrs in April. I can’t believe I’m even typing those words! She passed with such an untimely death at the young age of 57 with lung cancer. I miss everything about her, her gentleness, her smile, her hugs, her words of wisdom and encouragement, just everything! My heart is healing Praise God and I know that I will be reunited with her again with our Savior!!
    Thank you again for posting, many prayers to you my friend.

  3. Leah, I loved your devo and this post…such truth and honesty. Thank you! My grandma passed away 18 months ago and we (my 5 kids and I) still talk about her almost weekly. My lil Jaylyn (7) misses her so much, but grateful I can share hope with her.
    Prior to her death our pastor lost his dad suddenly and I remember him saying afterwards, “Don’t just be thankful for the memories, thank God in them.” At the time that didn’t make much sense, but in the last year I realize what he was saying…sometimes memories are hard because we remember how much we miss them, but if we thank God in the midst of them…it’s powerful and He works through that. Praying He blesses you with some wonderful memories and grateful He’s filled you with hope! Thanks for sharing that with all of us!! Blessings to you!!

    • Jill, I remember when your grandmother passed away. It’s hard to believe it’s been 18 months already. I love that you’re keeping her memory a part of your weekly conversations with the kids. You certainly are a woman choosing wisely. I also love that quote from your pastor. There is such much truth in it!

  4. I lost my Nana in 1997 at the age of 103. She is the one who kept me in prayer until/after I gave my heart to Jesus. She joked that I teethed on the church pew; I was that little when she took me to church. I was a preemie, and when the doctor gave me little chance of life, my Nana found a priest to come baptize me.
    I lost my daughter, Heather, 32, in Oct 2011, 5 days after my birthday. She did call me on my birthday to tell me she was sending a bundle of pictures of her and my 2 grandsons at all ages. I had left her a message on her cell phone the day before she died as 2 of the pics were missing heads, but I never heard from her – just the call from her husband that she had died – morphine intoxication. I have not been able to see/call/write to my 2 grandsons since her death.
    I lost my mom Aug 2012. She was in poor health, but I had planned to fly home a week later at the request of my sister, but my mom decided she couldn’t wait on me. She could make a delicious pot of chicken and dumplins.

    • Teresa, thank you for sharing the stories of these 3 beautiful women who impacted your life in amazing ways. I’m sure you miss them very much.

  5. Jennifer in NE FL :

    Thank you so much for your post. It just seems like yesterday that my Grammie passed on to be with the Lord. I think the hardest thing for me is knowing my daughter only had a short while to learn from her as she was an amazing woman. Of course I continue to try and teach my daughter the things she is unable to from my Grammie but it isn’t the same. I miss the insanity of talking to her on the phone and her calling me every other name but my own – more often than not I would get called Lindy (my mom’s name!) But I would just laugh and say “Yes Grammie”. I think of her when I drink mint tea. More recently I miss my aunt Annie as her passing was somewhat unexpected. I was afraid to answer the phone to hear what was going on next as it was one of those circumstances when you go to the doctor for one thing which leads to another and another and another. Aunt Annie was a rock, stable and steady. I could talk to her about anything and she would give sound advice. Miss them both, two wise woman that can never be replaced. There are so many good memories. Blessings.

    • Jennifer, I’m sure Grammie and Aunt Annie are having sweet mint tea in Heaven while sharing stories and going on about how much they love you. 🙂

  6. My Dad died Sunday a week ago. I had to be strong for my Mom last week. I kinda lost it Monday night after work. I am sure my family thought I was losing it and maybe I was. I have missed him long before he died. He used to love me so much but he stopped along the way and I don’t know why. He said yes to Christ in his last hours and God has assured me that He has him. My heart is relieved and happy that he is there of course. But the pain is almost more than I can bear. Please pray that God will speak to my heart and show me the way out of the pain. Thanks so much

    • Kim, I am praying for you today. I can relate to the pain you’re experiencing right now and want to encourage you by saying it will get easier. Grief is hard, but it is also a necessary process. It’s okay to cry. Better to cry then to stuff your feelings down inside.

      There will come a day when you can share a story about your dad and not cry (I promise), but for now, rest in the embrace of Your Heavenly Father and allow Him so mend your heart.

  7. Thank you for your devotion today. Tomorrow marks the 6th anniversary of my dads passing. I miss him daily. His passing was very sudden, and I still can’t believe somedays he is gone. I was not ready to stop being daddy’s little girl, even though I am grown. He was a wonderful, soft hearted man, with strength, and integrity beyond comparison. I wish so much that he was still here. He was a role model for my daughters as to what a good father is.
    It has been a long, hard, yet beautiful, road I have travelled to get here today. I have met my God in such a deep and personal way through this journey of coping with this loss. A couple years after his passing I went through a very difficult time accepting his death. I remember being so angry and lost. My inside raced constantly, sleep escaped me. I thought I was having a breakdown. During this time, every night when I would try to sleep, songs would race through my head. One song I remember being on repeat in my head was, I lift my hands, by Chris Tomlin. Usually, when I am upset, my go to is music, it brings me such peace, but this time it drove me crazy. I cried out to God, complaining that it wasn’t helping. Told him it was futile! One day, as I read a devotional, there was this verse about God singing over us. I broke. The whole time, it wasn’t my mind singing, it was actually god’s spirit, coming to minister to a broken soul. I still cry today thinking about how great Gods love is for us, how in that moment in my life, he was so close.
    It’s been four years since that tormented time, and everyday god has been right beside me. I know him in such an intimate because of my dads passing. I still miss him terribly, but I also know that he is at peace. I picture him, sitting by his log cabin, by the lake, fire blazing. (My dad was a simple man, I don’t think he would be comfortable in a mansion

    • Amanda, thank you for sharing such a beautiful experience – in the midst of such painful circumstances – and reminding us that God sings over us and draws very close to the broken hearted.

      For the Lord your God is living among you.
      He is a mighty savior.
      He will take delight in you with gladness.
      With his love, he will calm all your fears.
      He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)

  8. Thank you Leah for this post. I am covered with tears, but they needed to flow. I lost my dad in 2008 after he was in a bicycling accident at the age of 66. I was blessed enough to be able to sit at his side until his last breath, even sleeping beside him in the hospital bed listening to those same slowing breaths. I thanked God for that, even then, that I was able to be there next to him. My young family and I then took care of his mother for 2 1/2 years after he passed, losing her at the age of 95 peacefully. These care-giving times were very hard on me, my husband and my two young children – but we treasure them all the same. Just when we were starting to catch our breath again (about 6 months later) my mother was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. We started the care-giving journey all over again. We moved her closer to us and tried to spend as much quality time with her as we could. While she was sick, I lost one of my best friends (who was 9 months pregnant with a baby who also passed). Then lost my mom on May 19, 2014. I was blessed again to be at her side, holding her hand for that last moment. I had a 11-month old baby boy by this time and he ran in the room just after she passed and smiled and pointed to a corner of the room where no one was standing. I believe with all my heart he was seeing her angel or an angel coming to get her. He even clapped. Your post touched me to the very core Leah and I thank you because sometimes I feel very very alone in my grief. It’s almost unbearable at moments even thought I have a strong faith in God. I read these other posts by other readers an realize that there are many others out there who completely understand this kind of pain. Thank you for connecting our hearts. May God hold all who are grieving up and help us keep going in our strange new worlds… until we see them again.

    • Cassandra, what a beautiful image of your little boy smiling and clapping his hands as Jesus gracefully escorted his grandmother to her heavenly home. Thank you for sharing these special memories with us.

  9. I lost my precious mom and “best friend” 9 years ago on the 19th. My mother set a faith-filled beautiful example of a proverbs 31 woman for myself and my sister. As sarah said in her post – “she is such a part of who I am”. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of her and miss her terribly. There is so much I would like to share with her about God, and how much I deeply appreciated her Love for God in her reflection of how she raised my sister and myself with a husband (my dad) who was a non-believer. When she passed away, I had not been close to the Lord at all. I had fallen away years earlier. The Lord firmly and strongly called me several years ago, and I long to share this with her. I lost my sister 6 1/2 years ago, and I had been thinking this morning how I miss them both so much and know that they are at “Home” together. Thank you Leah for this wonderful reminder today. I needed this.

    • Kelly, I believe the best parts of your mom – her faith, love, spiritual giftedness – is being lived out every day in you. I’m sure she would say you are a beautiful example of the Proverbs 31 woman too.

  10. Rev. 24:4-5 are verses I memorized and would say hundreds of times a day when our 13 year old moved to Heaven so unexpectedly. I still ask God why, the hurt is still here, and I so miss our Malorie’s loud laugh. I still say this verse, even after 10 years, but I also thank our Heavenly Father for the gift of Salvation. I know Mal is having the time of her life, and as soon as I get to Heaven, she will be waiting to show me how amazing Heaven is.

  11. Leah, Thank you so much for your uplifting yet tear jerking post. 4/13/13 I lost the love of my life, my best friend and the father of my now 5 year old little girl,at only 22yrs old- to a motorcycle accident. I so much needed your words at this time in my life,although it’s been a couple years since he passed, that pain that is so deep in my heart still jumps up and effects me. our anneversary is comming up soon (Feb 7th) and I think thats why I’ve been greiving lately. I needed to hear what God prepared you to write because I needed to be reminded of the joy & light in the darkness. Edgar accepted Jesus as his savior not even 1 month before God took him home! just knowing that & hearing the verses you provided brings me right back to life! I still have this lump in my throat,wishing he was here for our anneversary to surprise me with flowers and work & I miss his cute smile,laugh,big hands,heavy arms,silly personality & the list forever goes on, but I do have such joy knowing he is already home, Thanks be to God we have that home described in Revelation 21:4-5.

  12. Hi Leah,
    Thank you for your post today – I’m pretty sure it was heaven sent. I’ve been struggling with the idea of heaven (even though I’ve been a Christian pretty much all my life!). I try to keep reminding myself of where my Mom is (in heaven) and try to imagine what joy she is experiencing. She passed away 3 1/2 months ago (Oct 4th, 2014) I also prayed just last night that God would help my doubts and encourage me in remembering the truth. Your post was definitely an answer to prayer. Thank you!

  13. When I lost my dad unexpectantly I was living in a foreign country. I had a hard time letting him go. It wasn’t until recently was I able to move on. It took me nearly seven years. We were very close. When I read your post, I could feel your pain and experience your comfort. I believe my dad like yours is in heaven. In fact, I read the same scripture you posted about a heavenly home the night I lost my dad. On my recent birthday I said goodbye to my last earthly father my paternal grandfather. He too is alive in Heaven. I am so glad we have eternal hope. Thank you for sharing your sorrow and joy. I agree that losing family is one of the most difficult life experiences, however that loss is only in this life.

  14. This post really hit home. I lost my husband to dementia 15months ago. I was with him at the time, stroking his head, holding his hand. His breathing just got shallower and shallower then stopped. It was a peaceful passing for which I was glad, but I wish I could hold him once more, too. I pray he is with the Lord. Thank you for stirring my memory so I can enjoy those last peaceful moments again even if they were sad. Sad is good; it enables us to enjoy the happy more.

    • Sue, I’m so glad you were able to be with your husband in those last important moments of his life here on earth. I’m sure your reunion in heaven with be a joy-filled occasion filled with lots of hugs and kisses.

  15. My brother passed away almost 10 years ago and left a very young family. My Dad passed away almost 3 years ago but it still really hurts. The memories are hard to think about because I feel lonely thinking about them and that there is no more memories to be made with them this side of heaven. My Mom now lives with my hubby and I and she although I know misses them is so caring and loving and even joyful as she reads her gardening books preparing for spring. I ask you to pray for me that I can capture some of her joy and remember all the memories in peace and love.
    Your blog has been very helpful to me this morning because I do not feel so alone. I pray all those who are sad this morning can be embraced with God’s love as each of us remembers our memories. Thank you Leah.

  16. Thank you so much for this. In February my Father will be gone from this earth for 4 years and I miss me as much today as I did when he passed. I really needed this today and thank you for the prayer. I know I will be able to see him in Heaven one day.
    Thank you so much for this awesome reminder.

  17. I miss my beautiful mother so terribly! It has been nearly 2 years since she passed, it still feels like one of my legs have been chopped off. She is who set the example for my faith in God and is such a part of who I am. Thank you for this post today, it has encouraged me and helped soothe the ache of my grief.

  18. I read a blog from Proverbs 31 Ministries that you wrote, and led me here.
    My dad past away December 2012, and some days are still hard. I miss being with him and going to places with him. But I know he is in a place where there’s no more pain. I know I’ll get to see him someday!
    Nothing has been the same since he left, I just hope that he’s proud of me, I love him so much.

  19. You had me think of my husband and my Mom. My Mom is not gone but she is gone. Alzheimers. I miss asking her questions about the children – how did she handle it? She raised 10 of us and she was a wealth of info. As for my husband, I miss him being there to have our “conferences” as we hashed things out about the children. Its almost 7 yrs. My youngest of my five, she was just 8 when he went Home to be with the LORD. That is where most of my ache lies. I talk to her about her father but she doesn’t remember very much. It must have been dramatic in her life. I continue praying that God will use the teachers, administrators, pastors, youth group leader, in her life. To speak into her life, to prayer for her. Thank you for opening this up today – I think. It hurts, and I didn’t think it did.

  20. Michelle Axton Kelly :

    Thank you for today’s post! I also lost my parents within months of each other. My father passed 10 months before my mom and stepmother. They passed the same week. Even three years later I miss them. Dream about them. Cry and ache to hear their voice one more time. What a sweet gift from God to read your post this morning. A reminder that this life is just the beginning. That we can believe in more, a glorious future in a perfect place. I can’t wait for the second half of our relationship to begin with us at the feet of our loving King!

  21. Thank you. A year ago this Friday we said goodbye to my dad. And as I read your message, we are recognizing that mom will be leaving us soon. I know I will see them again but sometimes the loneliness and pain hits – a song or movie, a memory from my childhood. As you wrote, I cry for what I miss.

    • Sue, I’m praying for you today and want to encourage you to spend as much time with your mom as you can right now. You’ll look back and realize just how precious every second was with her.

  22. What if our loved one who has passed did not accept the Lord’s invitation?

  23. Today I say goodbye to my 83 year old dad with Alzheimer’s and fly from England back home to the US. This is so hard because this will probably be the last time he remembers me. I have lost so much of the man he was but have been blessed to have held his hand, kissed his cheek, told him I love him. I know I will see him again on heaven but it is so hard saying goodbye (as I may never see him this side of heaven again). It is almost 7 years since we lost Mom and I miss her and am having a very hard time preparing to leave Dad today. Please pray for me. Thank you.

    • Dear Barbie, I am praying for you today. I’m asking God to comfort you and help you to dwell on only happy memories. And I pray that somehow, God will keep in your dad’s memory, a clear picture of you and how much you love him. Peace.

    • Barbie, I’m praying for you today ~ asking God to comfort and strengthen you as you return to the U.S. Saying good-bye is always difficult, especially when it’s surrounded with great uncertainty. I’m praying God maintains your father’s memories so that he will remember you next time you visit him.

    • Than you again Leah,
      This really was a kind of balm to me. As I’ve shared with you before, I lost my mother in 2013. I miss her so much and now I feel like I’ve kind of become numb with her loss and am slowly forgetting her, and I don’t want to. Since her passing life has become so raw and cold to me in the sense that I’ve realized she and my dad are the only two people in the world who have loved me unconditionally, put up with and dealt with maybe the most impossible child. I’m so ashamed for what I’ve done to hurt them, I don’t deserve theirs or God’s love, yet in his mercy and father heart both my heavenly and earthly father accept, forgive and love me more than I’m worthy of it. Yet I know I’d be lost and completely crushed if I didn’t have the assurance of their love. I pray that I can heal in my heart so that I can be free to be all that I’m meant to be and make my mum’s legacy real in my life so that I can pass it to my own daughter one day. I want to make a difference and be all I can be as a daughter to my dad as much as I possibly can and cherish the time we still have together, since he is still feeling the emptiness and loss of my mother. Keep praying for us.

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