Pulling the blankets up over my shoulders, I rolled over in bed and stared at the bright red numbers on my alarm clock. I was so exhausted, but I just couldn’t fall asleep.
An endless stream of thoughts rushed through my mind – one question cascading over the other. Before I knew it another hour had passed and I was no closer to dreamland than when the whole charade started a few hours earlier.
I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. Maybe I can call in sick. I wonder if I can get anyone to fill in for me? My job is hard and I feel so unappreciated.
Calling in sick was not an option because my job was motherhood and the “clients” who would be waiting for me very early the next morning were my four year old and six month old sons.
My husband and I had been married for nine years before our first son was born, so I had waited a long time to officially join the Mommy Club.
Finally, my dreams had come true and I was determined to be the best mommy ever!
Nothing brought me greater joy than to see their chubby little smiles and bed-head hair every morning, but can I be honest? Although it was wonderful it was also very challenging raising these little guys.
Despite my attempts to read every parenting magazine I could get my hands on, I still struggled with the day-to-day demands. It seemed like my real-life parenting skills didn’t quite measure up to the skills of those moms who actually wrote the magazine articles.
I was quickly discovering that motherhood wasn’t for wimps.
Twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week. Fifty-two weeks a year. I was on duty. And there was no paycheck waiting for me on Friday afternoons.
I was a chef when my children were hungry, a doctor when they had a tummy ache, a storyteller when it was naptime and a referee when disagreements erupted.
Changing poopy diapers, reloading sippy cups and washing dirty clothes turned into an ongoing project. In moments of weariness, I’d whisper to myself, “I want to quit.” Then mommy-guilt would flood my heart and push me to a deeper level of discouragement.
Why don’t I feel joy in doing something I’ve dreamed about for so many years?
Have you ever felt this way too?
Maybe you’ve experienced those moments when the demands of parenting collide with your stretched emotions and fragile feelings, causing your heart to become a little weary.
If you’re like me, you realize motherhood is a high calling. You see your children as treasured gift from God and your home as a gathering place where loved ones are nurtured and blessings abound.
But, there are those days when demands run high, patience runs thin and weariness tries to creep in.
You might be thinking, “Leah, I’m having one of those days TODAY!” And if that’s the case I want you to know I understand.
I remember what it’s like raising little children and I’ll be the first to admit I made a lot of mistakes along the way.
I’m crazy about my boys and when I look at them now I marvel at how amazing they turned out considering they had an impatient, imperfect and insecure mommy. As I reflect on those younger years, I can clearly see how faithful God was and how He gently guided me along the road of parenting. He was with me during those wonderful days and those not-so-wonderful days. His grace was always sufficient.
Do you need some encouragement in the midst of your parenting today? If so, this golden nugget of truth is for you:
I honestly believe raising children is like growing a spiritual crop that has the potential of producing a priceless, abundant harvest in the eyes of the Lord. As moms, we need to care for, watch over and tenderly love our children every day, just like a farmer would tend to his crops and wait for the valuable harvest to appear.
Raising children well requires a daily dose of love, commitment and perseverance. As moms, we can approach each challenge knowing we’re not alone. The Lord is with us and we can call on Him in those times of weariness. He is always ready to extend the grace, guidance and strength we need.
As we celebrate the giggles and messy moments of our children, let us be reminded of the great harvest God has waiting for us if we don’t give up. We may not see results right away, but if we keep on doing good and trust God with the rest, in due time we will reap a harvest of blessings!
Questions to ponder:
What has been your greatest challenge in being a mom? How has the Lord turned your past parenting challenges into proof of His faithfulness?
Leave your comments below or share this post with another mom who needs some encouragement today.
Judy S. says
Dear Leah,
I’ve read this article when you’d first posted it but have been able to share only now.
The title says it all and I don’t qualify. I’ve fought through my motherhood till now and am still fighting, I’ve been impatient and at times ‘unmotherly’. I’ve hurt my daughter in ways I’m seeing the fruit of it now in her life. She has certain fears and tantrums that can keep you awake all night. I feel so guilty for being responsible for many of her weaknesses. I’ve prayed about it and asked God to help me do right by her and restore our relationship. It’s very slowly healing. As she’s getting older now, she does want me most of the time but is sometimes restricted by her parental grandmother to come to me at times. She takes care of her most of the day while I’m at work and my girl has got very attached to her to the extent that grandma thinks she can do whatever she wants and I’m to be kept at arms distance and conditioned as to what to do for my own child. This has caused me to go berserk at times and thus grandma and I are now on opposite sides. My baby is in the middle and I don’t know what to do because of the control and domination. Since I lose control and get angry, I’ve been told I’m a bad mother, teaching wrong things to my child. Due to my angry outbursts I’ve said some pretty hurtful things that has caused more problems. I feel I’m in a pit I can’t get out of because I’ve failed so badly till now. But all I’ve ever wanted is to be a mother to my baby in every sense that it was stolen from me. In every sense God made me to be her mother like no one else can. I’ve been so conditioned, I’ve never been allowed to give her a bath at all, that’s just one example. My frustration is at its peak now and even though God speaks to me daily through specific things, I’m still not able to stop expressing my disappointment daily when something triggers me. At other times God has given me the wisdom and strength to hold on and be quiet even though my heart was and still is breaking for not being able to be a mother to my child because someone else wants to take my place and play my role.
I’ve learned so much and read and heard but I can’t seem to put it into practice for long as I get upset and lose control just at the moments when I feel I’ve made a brakethrough. It’s always at those points that I fail and mess up all over again and kick myself inside, felling like the worst sinner and failure in the world. But Jesus has shown grace and mercy in those times, and told me through his word that he loves and forgives me and is carrying me through even though I messed up again. It’s like a cycle that won’t end and I’m longing to break free from it.
I’m told daily that I’m always wrong and Jesus must be fed up of me and will never hear my prayers, but I’m not giving into that because I know my Jesus and he’s loved and cared for me enough to give me another chance to live when I was at the point of death at age seven. He has something good for me, but the more I pursue that the more satan is trying all he can to make me fall back and fail again. The year started lousy for me but I believe Jesus is going to do great, mighty and wonderful things in my life. He won’t fail me, he’s faithful. I’m believing for a breakthrough and healing in my little family even though the enemy is doing all he can now to stop it. I’m praying mostly to be free to be the wife and mother I’ve failed to be in so many ways and that the obstacles in my way will be removed permanantly. Keep praying.
Leah says
Judy, you have come so far despite the many challenges you are facing. Although you can’t change the past, God can miraculously use it for a brighter future as you trust in Him. You may not be where you want to be, but positive progress takes practice. It’s a life-long journey for all of us. Imagine what your life would be like with a completely restored relationship with your daughter and mother. Then, begin thanking God in advance for that miracle to come to fruition. With Him all things are possible. Our prayer requests certainly reach the ears of our Lord, but our praise and thanksgiving moves the very heart of God in ways we can’t even begin to imagine. Stay in the Word and keep pressing forward. Blessings!
Judy S. says
Thank you Leah,
Actually that’s mother inlaw not mother. My mother passed away a year and a half ago from ovarian cancer and that’s an irreplaceable loss I’ve kind of gone numb with because of all that’s happening. I feel I’ve failed and let her and my dad down by all I’ve said n done to disgrace myself here due to small moments of anger that have led me to speak all I was never meant to in a moment of anger instead of weighing my words and reactions.
I have been staying in the word and trusting God to keep me in control and be consistent in doing the right thing with the power of the Holy Spirit at the times I’m pushed to react. Keep praying.
Wendi says
As I read your blog it reminded me of those days that were always so busy taking care of my two girls and how that many days I just wanted to them to grow up so quickly! Today I have a 22 year old that will be getting married in 3 months and a 16 year old that is almost out of high school and trying to figure out what college she will attend and oh how I miss those days when they were always with me and there was always so much to be done! I’m very thankful for the young ladies they have become and we raised them to be just that….strong, independent girls who know what they want and will work to achieve their goals; I’m just missing those days in the past that seem like they were only yesterday!
Leah says
Wendi, it sounds like you’ve done a wonderful job in raising your girls. Savor each moment with them and celebrate the moments as your older daughter’s wedding approaches. No matter how old your girls are rest assured they will always need their momma. 🙂
Jill Beran says
So true Leah!! Just tonight as chaos consumed my house my daughter (almost 10) and were talking about my brother/sister in law who are days away from welcoming their first little one. I said to Joy, “Do you think Jackie knows what she is getting into?” Joy looked at her lil bros going bonkers and seriously responded, “She has no idea!!” I simply said, “12 years ago I didn’t either.” Daily I’m living proof that motherhood is not for wimps, but I’m reminded that I’m dependent on God and thankful for a parent who is perfect!!
I’m not sure what I’d say is my greatest challenge…sometimes I feel like I’m just entering it as my oldest is moving into a new stage – he’s almost 12, fighting for independence, pushing away a bit. We’re both first borns and share some personality traits, which can make us best friends and worst enemies. I find myself praying for wisdom now more than I ever have!! But grateful for God’s grace, His faithfulness and the glimpses He gives that I do some things right!
Blessings to you! Thank you for these encouraging words!!
Leah says
Jill, each age brings a new stage in our children’s lives … and in ours. My sons are teenagers now and there are still challenges I face as a mom. Fortunately, I’m not facing them alone and neither are you. When we pray for God’s wisdom in parenting our kids we can be confident that we’re praying His will.
Thanks for sharing. I always love your fresh insights. 🙂
Dana says
Good morning, Leah!
Your thoughts on parenting really hit the nail on the head for me. My three sons are grown and in their twenties now. Two of them are doing well and on their own, but my youngest has struggled with addiction issues since he was 18. We feel as though this child will never be totally on his own and able to fully care for himself, but I continue to pray for God’s grace in his life so that he may appreciate all his God-given assets and embrace them. It’s a work in progress as I definitely wasn’t planning on doing much more than grand-parenting at age 59!
My husband and I also are in that sandwich time of our lives in that we now are “parenting” my dad and his mother. We love them dearly and wouldn’t have it any other way, but it definitely adds to the stress level in our lives. Who would have thought I’d ever have to go watch my dad’s performance as Frosty the Snowman in the Christmas program at his senior village? And because he NEVER came to any program I was in as a child, I have to overcome feelings that I shouldn’t go JUST TO SHOW HIM! I realize that at 85 he would have no concept whatsoever why I wasn’t in the audience, so I will go. But I will be praying the whole way there for the grace to act like an adult and not like that little hurt child of 50 years ago.
Thanks for making me think. I wish you and yours a blessed Christmas!
Leah says
Dana, as I read your comments the words “God is able” kept popping into my mind. 🙂
Despite the tough circumstances with your youngest son and the struggles of sandwich parenting, God is able to answer prayers, perform miracles, extend grace, shower you with peace, do immeasurably more and infinitely above all you could ever ask or imagine. Continue to lean on Him each day as you wait expectantly for His plans to unfold and know that I’m lifting your family up in my prayers today.
Christmas blessings to you and yours!