Do you struggle with asking for help? Do you find it hard to ask someone to do a favor for you? I struggle with this all the time and I’m trying to figure out why.
If you’re like me, you rarely hesitate helping a friend who needs support. It could be something simple like picking up an extra gallon of milk while you’re at the store because your friend is home sick with the flu.
Or it might be a little more complicated like having your friend’s children stay with you for a few days while she takes a much needed anniversary getaway with her husband.
Whatever it is we’re there, right? Always ready to lend a helping hand. But when it comes to asking for help. Well, that’s completely different.
For me, some of the hardest words to string together are, “Can you do me a favor?” I avoid it at all costs.
I imagine this question comes with an invisible weight that I’m placing on someone’s shoulders. A weight that is unexpected. Unwanted. Unnecessary.
I tell myself, This is your problem not someone else’s. Figure out a solution without inconveniencing anyone in the process!
But, sometimes that’s not possible. Sometimes life gets hard and we need help in carrying the load. Sometimes we can’t do it all ourselves. Nor should we.
So what’s the solution?
Remember to do good and help each other. Gifts like this please God. Hebrews 13:16 (NLT)
I’ve always considered this verse as an instruction for me to follow and it is. But what about others in the body of Christ. Doesn’t it apply to them too?
What if we reframed our thinking to realize that when we ask someone for a favor, it’s giving them an opportunity to please God? To do good and help others. To be a blessing. To receive a blessing.
Honestly, whenever I do muster up the guts to ask someone for a favor they almost always say “yes!” Deep down inside I think that part of my problem is a little pride hovering beneath the surface, but I’ll save that topic for another week.
For now, here’s what I’m learning and trying to apply when a favor is inevitable:
* I pray and ask God who is the right person to ask for help.
* I avoid procrastinating and ask them right away. (Waiting only stressed me out)
* I ask God to bless this person in a special way because of their willingness to help me.
* I repay the favor by doing something nice in exchange for my friend.
This creates a win-win combination that benefits both of us.
It’s Your Turn
Why do you struggle with asking for help? Or is it easy for you to ask someone else for a favor? If you’ve got a helpful tip that works for you, please share it. That way we all can benefit from your insights and suggestions.
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Have a great week and stay awesome!
Eric says
We need to see the real depth of our spiritual poverty and the glory of all that is offered freely to us in Christ, then by faith we RECEIVE what He has already GIVEN. Not being able to receive from others is a sign that we have not really learned to receive from our Lord. “To this man I will look, even to him that is poor (bankrupt) and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at my word”…..and Jesus, “If you knew the GIFT of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have ASKED him, and he would have GIVEN you living water.” It takes a broken and a contrite heart indeed to admit the need for help.
Jan Albritton says
I have found as I have gotten older (I turned 60 in March) it has become easier for me to reach out when I need help. I guess because after so many years of having friends who help each other on a consistant basis, I know in my heart and am so vey grateful to know, that when I do need help and reach out, that it is ALWAYS there. It may not be there at the EXACT moment that I need it. But, I can know that I have reached out and that someone who loves me will get back to me as soon as they become aware of my call for help. It is helping me right now to even write this out! It is helping me realize what a very lucky person I am – that I have so many good people to reach out to in my times of need. And I know that THEY know that when their turn comes when they need help, that they can call on me with the same certainty that I, in turn, am HERE for them!
Dear God, I thank you from the depths of my heart and soul for my wonderful friends, who in my time of need I know I can each out to and that they will respond to my call. And I am also so very grateful that I, when called upon by one of them, have it within me to reach back out to each of them when they need a helping hand. We have each other, Lord Jesus, and for this, and so much more, I give deep and grateful thanks! In Jesus’ Name, AMEN!
Rebecca says
I feel the exact same way! So hard to ask for help. Thank You for posting your thoughts and applications toward the problem.