Along the Broken Path

I feel  as though I’m slowly re-entering the earth’s atmosphere, after being on a wild ride of unexpected turns and plunging dives. A not-much-fun ride that just threw me right into 2013, without bothering to slow down, so that I could catch my breath. Ready or not, the year started out – not like I had planned, hoped for or dreamed.

Life has a way of doing that sometimes. Maybe you feel the same way today?  

On January 12th, I visited a little church in Algiers, Louisiana where I gathered with family and friends. I was returning for the second time in less than a year and a half. I took my place up at the alter again; however this time, instead of laying a bouquet of beautiful pink and red roses gently into my mother’s casket, I rested my hand on the American flag that was draped over my father’s casket.

The sorrow was deep.

The grief was painful.

My heart was empty.

As tears flowed, I took my place with Keith and our boys. This felt way too familiar and I longed to wake up but unfortunately this wasn’t a dream. It was my reality.

Loosing both parents in such a short period of time has been extremely difficult. When my mom died it was hard, really hard. But, now that my dad is gone, there is an empty hole in my heart that seems bottomless. It’s hard to put into words but the hole is definitely there, longing to be filled.

Have you lost someone that you love? Maybe a parent, sibling, friend, or heaven forbid, a child? Maybe you have a hole in your heart and it feels bottomless too.

I think that when we lose someone we love, part of your heart is stripped away. What’s left is exposed, raw and painful. But, with God’s help and a healthy grieving process, I truly believe that our hearts can mend. It will take time and there might be a tiny scar leftover but His mercy is there to restore and heal us.

I need to be patient.

I need to trust Him.

I need to remember the wonderful moments.

I need to celebrate that my parents are together in heaven and rejoice in the beautiful legacy they left behind.

But, it’s still hard. And, if you’re grieving the loss of someone today, I’d imagine it’s hard for you too.

Yet, God is there, waiting patiently to help carry the load we’re holding on to. Today, let’s choose to release our tightly clinched fists and take His hand, as we walk along the broken path of grief. Let’s rely in His strength and not our own, to receive the healing that must take place, to make us whole again.

One day at a time.

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121: 1-2

Who are you grieving the loss of today? How can I pray for you? 
  

Leah

Comments

  1. Leah,

    Thank you so much for your words of encouragment. Needed them today. God’s perfect timing as I’m in the middle of helping plan a baby shower for Denise’s daughter in law. And it’s been a little weird knowing that Denise won’t be around to meet your grandson or be there for the shower. She always loved a good party! Love your heart and you.

    • Donna, what a wonderful gift you’re giving by helping plan the baby shower. I know you must miss Denise so much. Her new grandson will be over-the-top blessed to have Aunt Donna doting on him – just like his grandma would have loved him.

  2. Leah, I could TOTALLY identify with your thought. I realizee that when Mom passed away, I became so focused on Dad. Now that they are both gone the emptiness seems more acute. It is also very strange to now be the oldest generation in the family. On the other side of the grief is the excitement of our growing family population in heaven. Joy becomes centered in Hope which never disappoints us!
    Nyla

    • Nyla, I’m so thankful that I have you, Loel, and Eric to share the grief of losing Mom and Dad. I can’t imagine going through this alone. Thank heaven for siblings!

      I love your fresh perspective of our growing family in heaven. I wonder if the Wedding Feast of the Lamb will include Gumbo, Shrimp Po-Boys and Jambalaya?

  3. Beautifully written dear friend. Praying for you.

  4. Sending prayers your way. I lost my dad 6 years ago and you know, yesterday was just one of those days where my soul just filled with so much sadness. Lots of tears as I sat there holding a picture of the two of us. Missing him so much. But God (I always love the “but God”) cleansed my weary soul with my tears and brought me back up again. It certainly is tough when we miss someone so much. Big (((hugs))) to you Leah.

    • Leanna, I’m sorry for your loss. It’s interesting how those sad days can pop up when we least expect it, filling our hearts with sadness and eyes with tears for those we love. I guess we will always be our Daddy’s little girls – no matter how grownup we get.

      I’m so glad that your Heavenly Father scooped you up in His arms and held you close while you cried. I’m so thankful He draws near to the broken hearted. His mercies really are new every morning.

      Hugs,
      Leah

  5. Leah,
    Great words here…I appreciate your honesty. I’ve been thinking of you and praying for you; trust God will use this to build your faith and minister to others as well. Blessings to you, Jill

    • Jill, thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. I’m discovering that helping others along the way can make the grieving process beneficial and not so lonely

      I hope your doing well! I’m praying for your family today, asking God to saturate each of you with His love, joy, and peace~
      Blessings,
      Leah

  6. I am so, so very sorry for both your losses, Leah. What a beautiful post, thank you.

    Erin

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