I feel as though I’m slowly re-entering the earth’s atmosphere, after being on a wild ride of unexpected turns and plunging dives. A not-much-fun ride that just threw me right into 2013, without bothering to slow down, so that I could catch my breath. Ready or not, the year started out – not like I had planned, hoped for or dreamed.
Life has a way of doing that sometimes. Maybe you feel the same way today?
On January 12th, I visited a little church in Algiers, Louisiana where I gathered with family and friends. I was returning for the second time in less than a year and a half. I took my place up at the alter again; however this time, instead of laying a bouquet of beautiful pink and red roses gently into my mother’s casket, I rested my hand on the American flag that was draped over my father’s casket.
The sorrow was deep.
The grief was painful.
My heart was empty.
As tears flowed, I took my place with Keith and our boys. This felt way too familiar and I longed to wake up but unfortunately this wasn’t a dream. It was my reality.
Loosing both parents in such a short period of time has been extremely difficult. When my mom died it was hard, really hard. But, now that my dad is gone, there is an empty hole in my heart that seems bottomless. It’s hard to put into words but the hole is definitely there, longing to be filled.
Have you lost someone that you love? Maybe a parent, sibling, friend, or heaven forbid, a child? Maybe you have a hole in your heart and it feels bottomless too.
I think that when we lose someone we love, part of your heart is stripped away. What’s left is exposed, raw and painful. But, with God’s help and a healthy grieving process, I truly believe that our hearts can mend. It will take time and there might be a tiny scar leftover but His mercy is there to restore and heal us.
I need to be patient.
I need to trust Him.
I need to remember the wonderful moments.
I need to celebrate that my parents are together in heaven and rejoice in the beautiful legacy they left behind.
But, it’s still hard. And, if you’re grieving the loss of someone today, I’d imagine it’s hard for you too.
Yet, God is there, waiting patiently to help carry the load we’re holding on to. Today, let’s choose to release our tightly clinched fists and take His hand, as we walk along the broken path of grief. Let’s rely in His strength and not our own, to receive the healing that must take place, to make us whole again.
One day at a time.
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121: 1-2
Who are you grieving the loss of today? How can I pray for you?