It was time to come to grips with my shopping addiction.
First, I had to realize that my decision to shop excessively was nothing shy of sin in my life. My wonderful husband was working so hard to put money into our checking account and I was spending it faster then he could make it. Deep down inside, I knew it was wrong but I continued to rationalize with every single purchase I made.
On September 15, 2009, I wrote in my bible the following words, “60 day shopping fast”.
I had decided that the only way to beat this thing was to go cold turkey. That morning I made an oath to God that I would not purchase anything for myself or for my house (accept for food and cleaning products)during the next 60 days. I wrote it down in my bible as a way of holding myself accountable. I told my bible study friends about my 60 day plan and encouraged them to check out my shopping cart if they ever saw me in Target. I emailed my family and close friends and asked them to pray for me. I also told my husband and of course, he was thrilled!
It’s been 42 days since I made that agreement with God. In all honesty, I’m totally shocked that I’ve gone this far. I truly didn’t think I’d last 3 days!
Has it been easy? No way! It’s been incredibly tough. I’ve had to pray my way past the clearance racks, shoe section, and accessory stands of my favorite stores. I’ve put away all my Ballard Design catalogs and haven’t stepped foot in a Kirkland’s Home store.
The good news is that I’ve stuck with it. How? It’s totally been by the grace and strength of God. There is absolutely no way I could have done this without Him. Every time I think about cheating, He reminds me of the commitment I made on September 15, 2009 and it keeps me going.
What I’m realizing through all of this is that my desire to shop was my way of filling an empty place in my heart. I’d shop when I was angry or down about something. I’d shop when I was stressed because “I needed a little pick-me-up”. I’d even shop when I was bored because it brought a little excitement to my day. Bringing home a new sweater or pair of earrings always put a smile on this girl’s face. That was… until the guilt set in… and it always did.
Now, when I’m angry or stressed, instead of running to the store, I run to God. He’s teaching me so much about myself. He’s helping me with my struggles and showing me healthy ways to deal with my problems.
Through it all, I’m feeling more content with my life than ever before. I’m way more productive, now that I’m not wasting hours at the mall. Best of all, I’m not afraid to open up my credit card statements each month to see the balance due.
I’m learning that there’s more to life than shopping…. way more!